Fic: First Step: Denial

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

Title: First Step: Denial
Author: tjwritter 
Rating: PG
Word Count: 415
Character: George Weasley
Summary: Looking in the mirror is painful, to block out the pain, George starts drinking more then Firewhisky.
Genre: Tragedy

He was supposed to move on. Life was supposed to be lived, and hope was supposed to be restored. George Weasley looked around him and saw how others functioned in their day-to-day tasks.

Sitting at the crowded bar, he watched the people around him. In the corner he glanced at the two couples huddled into a booth—his youngest brother with his soon to be wife and his sister with her betrothed. They had walked in about an hour ago and walked right by him. They didn’t recognize him, he took another pull from his hip flask to reassure himself that they continued to be oblivious to his presence.

He knew that everyone was giving him space, time, letting him heal in his own way. He was grateful for that, but no one would truly understand how he felt. How painful it was to see his own reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t his eyes he saw when he looked upon himself, it was Fred’s. To swallow the pain of that, the loss of that, he swallowed his never-ending supply of Polyjuice potion and Firewhisky and washed away the thoughts that tried to surface.

It wasn’t just for him he did it either, he reasoned. He saw it in their eyes, his family, and his friends. Saw the way they looked at him, the smiles trying to hide the twinkle of unshed tears in their eyes. He was the living memory of all that had been lost, walking among them, not letting any of them forget. He knew that somewhere, deep in the bowels of all of them, would be resentment for his existence, for the constant reminder that he was.

It would be there, he knew, because it was there in him. The constant question of why? Why Fred and not him? Why weren’t they there together? Why was it the one time they were separated, the one time that Fred really needed him, he was somewhere else, doing something else? Why was it Percy? Percy for Merlin’s sake?

He swallowed his bitterness with another swig of juice, another shot of whisky.

No, he reasoned, if he couldn’t face the world and the people in it, then he would continue to be someone else, see through someone else’s eyes.

Besides, he thought, looking at himself in the mirror behind the bar, raising his newly filled glass of alcohol and winking at the reflection of his handsome face and his drunken blue eyes, blondes do have more fun.

 

Comments

[hpuckle.livejournal.com]

Oh, heartbroken!

He knew that somewhere, deep in the bowels of all of them, would be resentment for his existence, for the constant reminder that he was.
Oh, George! *clutches him to me*

xxx

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

Sorry!

*clutches you both*