Off to Neverland (G)

[luvscharlie.livejournal.com]

Title: Off to Neverland
Author: luvscharlie
Pairing: Luna Lovegood/Percy Weasley
Rating: G
Word Count: 699
Summary: Percy Weasley doesn't believe in Muggle fairytales.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, though I will gladly take Charlie Weasley home with me.
Notes: Written for Luna's Month of June (prompt: "I don't believe in fairies.") over on the helmet_fest2008 AND
35. not my problem on potterprompts; 13. Star Gazing on 15pairings



Off to Neverland

"Are you ready to go yet?" Luna asked, stepping into Percy's office, with her nose inches from a book she was attempting to read as she walked.

"Go where?" He laid down his quill.

"To Neverland, of course," Luna said, as though it were the most obvious answer in the world. "We must get there before any more damage has been done."

Percy heard a snigger from the doorway and looked up to see his oldest brother.

"Hello, Luna," said Bill.

"Bill, how is your new little one? I do hope she laughs often." The statements were delivered without ever looking up from the book that was mere inches from her nose.

Bill cleared his throat loudly, a sound Percy recognised as an attempt to keep his laughter in check. "Why yes, Luna, she does. Why do you ask?"

Luna turned back several pages and walked forward holding out the book to Bill. "See, here." She indicated a highlighted passage and Bill read aloud.

"When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."

Bill flipped the book back over and was unable to contain his snigger. The words Peter Pan graced the embossed cover.

"But you see, Bill," Luna said thoughtfully, "Rolfe has been telling me about a shortage they are noticing in fairies in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

"Hm, do tell," said Bill, wearing an amused smile.

"Oh, stop encouraging her!" Percy stomped around his desk and jerked the Muggle book from Luna's hand. "The kind of fairies they talk of in these stupid Muggle fairytales, do not exist."

"And how would you know that?" Bill asked, goading Luna on.

Percy would have loved to commit murder upon his eldest brother at that moment.

"Well, I certainly do not believe in them. You are both insane. Honestly, Bill, I would have expected it from her, but you—"

Luna gasped placing her hand over her mouth to hide an expression of utter mortification.

"What?" Percy asked.

Luna burst into tears.

"What?" Percy demanded in a more desperate tone.

Bill took the book and flipped to the correct page, once again reading aloud:

"Every time a child says, 'I don't believe in fairies,' there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead."

Percy thought he had found a clever way of avoiding this. "But, you see, it doesn't count. I'm not a child."

"Adults probably kill more than one," said Charlie, appearing in the doorway, and adding to his brother's dilemma. "I do hope you clapped immediately afterwards."

Luna sobbed harder.

Bill's dimple played in and out of his cheek in amusement, and nodded. "I think Charlie's probably right. You really have to do something to fix this now. Why aren't you clapping?"

"What is this clapping business?" asked Percy, shooting daggers at his brothers with his eyes, and patting Luna awkwardly on the shoulder. There was nothing Percy hated worse than a tearful female.

It was Charlie's turn to read aloud from the Muggle book:

"Do you believe in fairies?... If you believe… clap your hands; don't let [her] die."

Percy walked up close enough so that only his brothers could hear. "I hate you both."

"You know, Perce, you are the Head of the Department of International Cooperation now," said Charlie. "It's your job to go to this Neverland place and see what you can do about getting these Neverlandese—Neverlandians—people of Neverland to treat the fairies of their world with some respect."

"Oh yes," said Luna. "Charlie is right."

Percy crossed his arms smugly, sure that he was about to end this with his superior intelligence. "I can't go to this Neverland place. I don't know how to get there."

Charlie turned a few more pages in the book, and Percy's heart sank.

"Second star to the right and straight on till morning."

"Did you need us for anything else, little brother?" asked Bill.

"No, I think you've done quite enough." Percy looked at the teary-eyed female in his office. "I'll just pack a bag."

~Fin.~