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*dies laughing*

Snape turned the knob, and then removed his hand from his pants

“Don’t you sneer at me, Snape,” Voldemort warned threateningly, knowing no other way to warn.
“It’s what I do,” Snape sneered.

Hug! Good, good. Okay, now a little kiss.

and screaming ‘Tom! Oh, Tom! Riddle me this!’.”

if it wasn’t for dirty magazines, I would have thought that all foreplay started with ‘Oh, c’mon, pleeeease? It’s my birthday’.”

“I’d hate to have to feed you to Nagini, Severus. You know I don’t like her eating greasy food.”

Freaking hysterical, all of it.

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